martedì 4 ottobre 2016

Infective affinities 4 - Going wrong…is almost good!

“Good, now that this experience has given its results, not extraordinary, but largely sufficient to consider it over, I’ll change my scenery, in search of new adventures” (Sara Bini)

When Hilde had heard him talking about friendship, she had been innerly shaken by a big, deep laughter. She hadn’t even bothered to contradict him. Thanks to this smart-ass definition, by which he was attempting to sugarcoat his motives, he had mainly defined himself. For her Mark was not even to be regarded as an acquaintance, much less as a friend! If he had justified himself by saying “I had been clear from the beginning, I wanted to remain single”, she could have answered that she had been as clear as well: she didn’t want any friends with benefits. So, no friends as before - but no enemies either. The little they had felt about the little that had occurred could be easily forgiven as well as forgotten.

Hilde chuckled. The Universe was really a friendly place, after all. No matter how naive she could be and although she kept involving herself in filthies of all kinds, life moved on in such a benevolent way that she got quickly released without too much damage.
The sun had set down and the purple sky was turning into a clear, starry night. Boy, Hilde thought all of a sudden, there was another turnaround for the original statement. From her bed, Hilde grasped a pencil and a paper and wrote down: “I shouldn’t have had another man”. Honestly, also this one was pretty true. Hilde laughed heartily and fell asleep peacefully.  

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Infective affinities 3 - Of course he should have had another woman!!

“I thank all my partners because they all have taught me, one way or another, to do without them . They’ve been my teachers of Freedom” (Sara Bini)

“Mark should have had another woman”, three reasons why this statement - and this kind of reality - were better than the original one. 

  1. First, because now it was her (or their) turn to go through his photo exhibitions, through the boring trip along the river and his very embarrassed friends, who every month had to get acquainted with a new lady. 
  1. Secondly, because she, Hilde, was finally over with with his performance anxieties and obsessive needs of validation especially before, during and after the embrace. Unluckily for him, she was also particularly thick on this respect. When, after their first intercourse, he asked “How are you feeling now?” she candidly answered “Well, bit of a sore throat and I have an ingrown toenail. I could be better, thanks for asking.”
  2. Finally, because she was definitively spared from his lame clichés parade which he invariably sold to every damsel on shift. These commonplaces included pearls such as “I am a free spirit” “Women are never free spirits” “All women inevitably fall in love with me” “Anyway, I want to stay friends with you”. 

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Infective affinities 2 - General Tales of Extra-ordinary Madness

I love when a men sleeps with me and then tells anybody about it. I need as much promotion as possible. (Mae West)

She briefly recalled their romance - briefly, because it could not be otherwise. That was all what life had given her lately, consequently she had to work right on this: more glorious battles seemed to be indefinitely postponed.
Mark had begun with fifteen days of savage courtship: personally, virtually and whatsapply. In front of such an insistence and  persistence, even Mother Therese would have given up. Hilde, out of exasperation, had eventually given up. Now that the dust had settled, if she could have imagined that giving it up was sufficient to get rid of him, she would have done it sooner. 

Conversely, he had to work hard heroically for nearly two weeks, racking his brain in all the possible ways to gain some trust and credibility. A commendable work, he even had to go through a couple of her extremely tedious short stories, then he had taken her on a long boat trip, invited her to the opening of his own photo exhibition and finally he had introduced her to his best friends. Poor thing. She sighed full of sincere compassion. If she had only known that all his effort was just to get two nights of sex, she would have spared him the trouble. After all, Mark was not that young anymore and bruised-up fifties-man like him should try to avoid additional stress. 

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Infective affinities 1 - He/she shouldn’t have another one

To thoughts which are inimical to Yoga , contrary thoughts will be brought. (Patanjali)


“There are people and experiences that you can flush out in fifteen days, like the snails” After formulating such a profound and mighty thought, Hilde took her Worksheet and decided to complete Byron Katie’s exercise. A ray of evening light was filtering from the window: in Bippendorf, a nice suburb of Bon-Bon town, the sunset was showing its most beautiful colors. Hide imagined that such a blade of light, as a laser, could pierce in that instant her confused and exhausted mind as well.  

‘Find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is as true as or truer than the original statement.’ This was the task of the exercise. Hilde concentrated. The original statement said “Mark shouldn’t have had another woman”. If grammar and logic were not just an opinion, the first turnaround would transform the sentence from a negative to positive one: “Mark should have had another woman”.
True. So it had been and it was still, de facto. He had at least a dozen women at the same time, or so it seemed. To be totally honest, Hilde remembered the feeling of relief and liberation when she had seen Mark with his new fling. She had also wondered why…after all she should have felt hurt, wounded, humiliated, or at the very least, cheated. But probably such feelings were even too noble in relation to their seedy background. 

To have a Counseling Session, also online please contact me at or through the site