“…But because truly being here is so much; because everything here
apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way
keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all.”(Rilke, The Ninth Elegy)
Versione italiana al link: Liability - responsabilità
The song ‘Liability', by the young New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde, moves a feeling of deep tenderness in me. It is about feeling a 'burden', a 'responsibility' that disturbs, that pushes people away or makes them approach only when they need it. Especially when I was young, but it is still a theme that recurs in my life, I experienced feeling 'too much' or 'too much' in a relationship or in someone's life.
On the other hand, people with an uncommon quality and amount of energy are always a bit 'disturbing' for the average individual, who is physiologically incapable of handling emotional, intellectual or spiritual frequencies outside the ordinary range. So it can happen that a friend or partner will say in words that they want to be with us and then, in fact, run off at the first opportunity.
The lines in the song that bring tears to my eyes every time I listen are:
"I do my best to meet her demands
Play at romance, we slow danceIn the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone
Stroking her cheek"
Here is the heartbreaking contrast between the sweet dream and the crude reality: listening to each other's desires and needs with the illusion of being in two and then finding ourselves alone, the only ones to give us some love and companionship.
However, knowing how to give, to open up and to share, despite the bitter disappointments, makes us worthy, as the song closes with, 'of dissolving into the sun'. It is a touching image that does justice to those who have managed to cross a threshold, to walk beyond their wounds, beyond their pain, across the desert of abandonment. Only in this way are our eyes hardened to receive the purest light and our hearts prepared for the embrace of the sweetest love; the rest, after all, was just 'school'.
Below is the video with my interpretation of the song and its lyrics.
Video at the link: Liability
LIABILITY
Baby really hurt me
Crying in the taxi
He don't wanna know me
Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm
Says it was poison
So I guess I'll go home
Into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven't screwed up
She's so hard to please
But she's a forest fire
I do my best to meet her demands
Play at romance, we slow dance
In the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone
Stroking her cheek
They say, "You're a little much for me
You're a liability
You're a little much for me"
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I'm a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I'm a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone
The truth is I am a toy
That people enjoy
'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore
And then they are bored of me
I know that it's exciting
Running through the night, but
Every perfect summer's
Eating me alive until you're gone
Better on my own
They say, "You're a little much for me
You're a liability
You're a little much for me"
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I'm a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I'm a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone
They're gonna watch me disappear into the sun
You're all gonna watch me disappear into the sun
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