"He's completely turned his life upside down. Before, he was miserable and depressed. Now he's depressed and miserable." (David Frost)
Versione italiana al link Trasformare la propria vita
Versione italiana al link Trasformare la propria vita
Life is a continuous process of change, if not even evolution, and in itself it would already produce the necessary conditions inducing an average intelligent person to question and reflect.
There are also those who want to bring about some change in their lives: they want to change jobs, partners, cities or states of residence. However, it is generally hard to understand for us, that if the change in external circumstances is not supported by some internal awareness, the conditions, we complained about earlier and we wanted to get away from, tend to reproduce. To modify ourselves means to work in a way that mental and emotional structure, in other words our thoughts and emotions, assume a new quality, thus tuning in to different situations and people.
We need a necessary premise: to transform ourselves and to move towards coherence and integrity between our saying, doing, feeling and thinking is a hard work. Only those who are able and willing to do so are put on the path of conscious self-transformation. Everything else is just complaints, hypothetical sentences and verbs to the conditional tense"I would do it, if only my husband helped me ... I would go to that course, if the work allowed me …".
At least three conditions must be met in order for a genuine change to take place in us and in our existence. They are:
1. The availability of a certain amount of energy: this, on the physical plane, is generally translated into terms of time and money. When people who want change blame the lack of money and time, it may be that the time has not come for them yet. There are courses, books or self-help that are practically free and on good timings, but the person who is not ready will find a series of excuses and will not question his/her current priorities. In fact, there is no time to meditate, no money to buy a book, and yet there is always time and money to go to the stadium, nail down, have five aperitifs in a row or buy cigarettes.
2. Rhythm: let's not be fooled by the term, I'm not referring to unlikely occult musical talents. Rhythm is simply discipline, giving continuity and coherence to the process of change. Every athlete will be able to confirm that it is worth more an hour of training per day than a non-stop weekend once in a while. Here, too, our real priorities come into play, because it is a matter of finding a regular time and space to take care of ourselves and our lives...and not only in terms of getting the anti-wrinkle mask, the beard or the waxing.
3. Direction: What is the purpose of my transformation movement? What do I want to be in my life? Who am I and what do I want to accomplish beyond the roles that society imposes on me or that I have chosen (worker, mother, father, student, etc...)? Even the most ground-to-ground objectives often require a clear vision and a coherent planning.
When the above conditions are met, many daydreams become practical and achievable objectives, whether they are taking a degree, buying a house or planning a holiday. In addition, when you combine them with the appropriate tools such as attention, self-presence and self-observation, you can change, or at least smooth and lighten, even harsch personality traits which are generators of distress.
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