Thor : " I wish I could trust you"
Loki: "Trust my rage"
(From the movie 'Thor: The Dark World)
(From the movie 'Thor: The Dark World)
In my experience, the most decisive element in the recovery process is the firm and honest intention to get rid of our suffering. As long as recriminations, fears, sadism or victimization still provide some form of pleasure that we accept as nourishment, there is no Mepral or Holy Spirit that can get us out of that shit. For it is the kind of shit we still find functional. After all, we know it pretty well, and it affords us a kind of ease since it validates our vision of the world. And woe betide anybody who wants to take it way from us!
In another relationship, not ended by a single brutal breakup but rather the agonizing slow death of going-off-and-on-for months, I turned to a counselor instead of tablets. I was totally exhausted, physically and emotionally, and my self-talk was driving me mad: “Good Lord, with all the meditation, respiration, intuition and liposuction I’ve been doing, must I still inhabit the lowest levels of consciousness? I should just go to the disco and drink myself silly like everyone else, instead of reading Alice Bailey’s books!”
From such a distorted benevolence towards myself, perhaps you can deduce that I was not in good shape.
However, as soon as I entered my counselor’s studio and rapidly indulged in some liberating tears, I felt enormously relieved. Of course the path away from my all my romantic illusions had just begun. But considering my hard, proud temperament, I had taken the most important step: simply asking for help. Such a kind action toward myself was already activating the harmonizing energies of my inner Self — energies which, thank God, go far beyond the limitations of ego and personality. Even if the process would be long and laborious, it was necessary to start with a simple, self-respecting step.
Yet I am proud to say I have already made progress in my expectations of relationship. As I’m growing in spiritual awareness, it becomes ever more clear that I don’t want either a passionate romance or a passing sexual affair: I want a maid. If she/he is able to assemble Ikea furniture and do some home repairs in addition to cooking and tidying up, my life will be complete.
“The voice within is what I’m married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage. My lover is the place inside me where an honest yes or no comes from. That’s my true partner.” (Byron Katie)
Versione italiana ai link Pensavo fosse amore 1, Pensavo fosse amore 2 e Pensavo fosse amore3
Edited by D. Patrick Miller
Pics by Elena Pratelli
To have a Counseling Session, also online please contact me at binisara@gmail.com or through the site www.sarabini.com
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