“I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS”: an atypical love song

“Love requited is a short circuit.”(Samuel Beckett)

“Why do we prefer that of an impossible love to any other story? Because we like burning and be aware of what is burning in us.”(Denis de Rougemont)

Versione italiana al link: Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei

 

A pain in the ass that sooner or later will happen to everyone on this fantastic planet is that of impossible love or unrequited love. Rivers of ink and cascades of tears have been shed about this experience which, in my opinion, can be highly constructive and even initiatory - though painful.

In the title of the song ‘I'm in love and it's my business’, albeit in a humorous tone, is enclosed some trace of truth.  The ‘other’ can certainly be the fuse that ignites the process of falling in love, but one must remember that this flame is ours. It is up to us to find out how to manage it and how to get something good out of it, without too much 'blaming' or 'idealizing' the supposed partner.

Generally, and it is understandable, such energy immediately seeks a discharge and satisfaction outside, that is, we try to ‘conquer’ the beloved object, and if this goes well, the well-known joys and sorrows of every human relationship begin.

If, however, it happens that the object of our desire does not reciprocate our feeling, we have two possibilities: either we change object - an intelligent choice-  or we change direction to this energy - a transcendent choice. Sometimes, unfortunately, we choose the highly unadvisable option of obsessively haunting a poor Christ who, on an examination of reality, will not reflect even a tenth of the fantasies we embroider on him/her.

But let's also say that we are in the grip of a devastating crush and we can't get a person out of our heads. What can we do? Burn. Let's take a step back and look at the power, at the beauty of this wonderful energy of desire in us. Let's ride the wave, let's tame the flame without extinguishing it. It is very difficult, but it is worth it. We know that it can be a highly destructive force - see Goethe's poor Werther - but once channeled, it has enormous creative and constructive potential.

For example: let's study the object of our love, let's list the wonderful characteristics that we attribute to it and let's try to evoke and cultivate them in us. Let's become what we love, in a progressive movement of refinement or fulfillment of ourselves. If nothing else, we could become a little more complete, less needy and less petulant and therefore perhaps even more attractive for potential future partners. 

So let's cultivate the sacred fire of eros in us, which is basically a gift, and let's make it become a continuous falling in love, a desire for care and embrace towards every being, an infinite tension towards the Mystery of Life.

 

Here is the video of English version of the song, then you can find the lyrics and the Italian translation:

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS

YOU WALK AWAY, YOU DON’T SAY GOODBYE, OH MY!

AND I WONDER IF I SHOULD BE CRYING

YOU DON’T CONNECT, YOU DON’T TEXT, NO WHATSAPP AND YET

I CAN FIND NOTHING TO OBJECT

‘CAUSE I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, SUCH A COMPLETENESS

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME, IN LOVE WITH ME

YOU LEFT ME HERE, YOU STAY WITH HER, BUT I DON’T CARE, I ASSUME

YOU’RE IN A THRILLING HONEYMOON

MY LOVE IS MINE AND I FEEL FINE, A BLISSFUL STATE

YOU DON’T HAVE TO PARTECIPATE

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, IT’S SUCH A SWEETNESS

‘CAUSE I’M FREE TO FEEL INFINITY,  INFINITY,   INFINITY,    INFINITY

YOU WALK AWAY, DON’T EVEN SAY GOODBYE, OH MY!

AND I WONDER, SHOULD I EVER BE CRYING?

YOU DON’T CONNECT, YOU DON’T TEXT, NO WHATSAPP AND YET

I CAN FIND NOTHING TO OBJECT

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, I’M LIKE A PRIESTESS

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME, DON’T HAVE TO BE

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS

‘CAUSE I’M FREE TO FEEL INFINITY,    INFINITY,   INFINITY,    INFINITY,   INFINITY

TRADUZIONE

Te ne vai, non mi saluti, mio Dio,

mi chiedo se dovrei piangere

non ti connetti, non messaggi, niente whatsapp eppure

non trovo niente da obiettare

perché sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, è di una tale completezza

e non occorre che tu sia innamorato di me, innamorato di me

Mi hai mollata qui, stai con lei, ma non m’importa, suppongo

che tu sia in un’eccitante luna di miele

Il mio amore è mio, sto bene, uno stato di grazia

non occorre che tu partecipi

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, è di una tale dolcezza

perché mi sento libera di sentire l’infinito, l’infinito

Te ne vai, nemmeno saluti, mio Dio,

mi chiedo, dovrei forse piangere?

non ti connetti, non messaggi, niente whatsapp eppure

non trovo niente da obiettare

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, sono come una sacerdotessa

e non occorre che tu sia innamorato di me, non occorre

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, mi sento una principessa

perché sono libera di sentire l’infinito, l’infinito, l’infinito.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

“SONO INNAMORATA E SONO FATTI MIEI”: canzoni d’amore atipiche

“L’amore corrisposto è un corto circuito. - Love requited is a short circuit.”(Samuel Beckett)

“Perché a qualsiasi altro racconto preferiamo quello di un amore impossibile? Perché a noi piace bruciare ed essere coscienti di ciò che brucia un noi." (Denis de Rougemont)

English version at the link : I'm in love and it's my business

Un altro ‘tormentone’ che prima o poi tocca a tutti su questo fantastico pianeta è quello dell’amore impossibile o dell’amore non corrisposto. Si sono versati fiumi d’inchiostro e cascate di lacrime riguardo questa esperienza che, a mio avviso, può essere altamente costruttiva e perfino iniziatica - sebbene dolorosa.

Nel titolo della canzone “sono innamorata e sono fatti miei”, per quanto in tono umoristico, è racchiusa una qualche traccia di verità.  L’altro in questione può sicuramente essere la miccia che accende il processo dell’innamoramento, ma occorre ricordarsi che tale fiamma poi è nostra. Sta a noi saperla gestire e saperne ricavare qualcosa di buono, senza troppo ‘colpevolizzare’ o ‘idealizzare’ il supposto partner.

Generalmente, ed è comprensibile, tale energia cerca subito una scarica e una soddisfazione all’esterno, cioè partiamo alla conquista dell’oggetto amato e, se la cosa va in porto, iniziano le ben note gioie e dolori di ogni relazione umana.

Se però succede che l’oggetto del nostro desiderio non ricambi il nostro sentimento, abbiamo due possibilità: o cambiamo oggetto - scelta intelligente-  o cambiamo direzione all’energia - scelta trascendente. Talvolta purtroppo si sceglie l’opzione altamente sconsigliabile dell’accanirsi ossessivamente su di un povero cristo che, a un esame di realtà,  non rispecchierà neppure un decimo delle fantasie che ricamiamo su si lui.

Ma mettiamo pure che siamo in preda ad una cotta devastante e non riusciamo a toglierci una persona dalla testa. Cosa possiamo fare? Bruciare. Facciamo un passo indietro e osserviamo la potenza, la bellezza di questa meravigliosa energia di desiderio in noi. Cavalchiamone l’onda, domiamo la fiamma senza spegnerla. E’ difficilissimo, ma vale la pena. Sappiamo che può essere una forza altamente distruttiva - vedi il povero Werther di Goethe- - ma che, una volta incanalata, ha un enorme potenziale creativo e costruttivo. 

Ad esempio: studiamo l’oggetto del nostro amore, elenchiamone le caratteristiche stupende che gli attribuiamo e cerchiamo di evocarle e coltivarle in noi. Diventiamo ciò che amiamo, in un progressivo moto di raffinamento o compimento di noi stessi. Se non altro, potremmo diventare un po’ più completi, meno lagnosi e meno petulanti e quindi magari anche più attraenti per potenziale futuro partner. 

Coltiviamo dunque il sacro fuoco dell’eros in noi, che è sostanzialmente un dono, e facciamolo diventare un continuo innamorarsi, un desiderio di cura e di abbraccio verso ogni essere, una tensione infinita verso il Mistero della Vita.

Qui di seguito posto il video della versione italiana della canzone, più il suo testo. A seguire, la versione inglese. 

Testo italiano:

TI AMO E SONO FATTI MIEI

TE NE VAI VIA DA ME E MI CHIEDO SE 

DOVREI METTERMI A PIANGERE

NIENTE CHAT, NO WHATSAPP, NON MI CHIAMI EPPURE

IO NON TROVO NIENTE DA OBIETTARE

È UN AMORE MIO E TU NON C’ENTRI, ANCHE SE LO ACCENDI

NON OCCORRE CHE TU AMI ME, TU AMI ME

MI PIANTI QUA E SCEGLI LEI, SEMBRA TRISTE MA

MI RENDI LA MIA LIBERTÀ

QUELLO CHE C’È DENTRO DI ME È UN FUOCO SACRO CHE

NON IMPORTA CORRISPONDERE

È UN AMORE MIO E TU NON C’ENTRI, E TI SORPRENDI?

MI DÀ DIGNITÀ DI ETERNITÀ, DI ETERNITÀ,    ETERNITÀ,      ETERNITÀ

TE NE VAI, VIA CON LEI, PENSO CHE DOVREI

FARMI SOLO UN PO’ GLI AFFARI MIEI

NIENTE CHAT, NO WHATSAPP, NON MI CHIAMI EBBENE

NON TROVO NULLA DA OBIETTARE

È UN AMORE MIO E TU NON C’ENTRI, ANCHE SE LO ACCENDI

NON OCCORRE CHE TU STIA CON ME, TU STIA CON ME

È UN AMORE MIO E TU NON C’ENTRI, PERCHÉ TI OFFENDI?

MI DÀ DIGNITÀ DI ETERNITÀ, DI ETERNITÀ,    ETERNITÀ,     ETERNITÀ

Versione inglese:

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS

YOU WALK AWAY, YOU DON’T SAY GOODBYE, OH MY!

AND I WONDER IF I SHOULD BE CRYING

YOU DON’T CONNECT, YOU DON’T TEXT, NO WHATSAPP AND YET

I CAN FIND NOTHING TO OBJECT

‘CAUSE I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, SUCH A COMPLETENESS

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME, IN LOVE WITH ME

YOU LEFT ME HERE, YOU STAY WITH HER, BUT I DON’T CARE, I ASSUME

YOU’RE IN A THRILLING HONEYMOON

MY LOVE IS MINE AND I FEEL FINE, A BLISSFUL STATE

YOU DON’T HAVE TO PARTECIPATE

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, IT’S SUCH A SWEETNESS

‘CAUSE I’M FREE TO FEEL INFINITY,  INFINITY,   INFINITY,    INFINITY

YOU WALK AWAY, DON’T EVEN SAY GOODBYE, OH MY!

AND I WONDER, SHOULD I EVER BE CRYING?

YOU DON’T CONNECT, YOU DON’T TEXT, NO WHATSAPP AND YET

I CAN FIND NOTHING TO OBJECT

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, I’M LIKE A PRIESTESS

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME, DON’T HAVE TO BE

I’M IN LOVE AND IT’S MY BUSINESS, FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS

‘CAUSE I’M FREE TO FEEL INFINITY,    INFINITY,   INFINITY,    INFINITY,   INFINITY

TRADUZIONE

Te ne vai, non mi saluti, mio Dio,

mi chiedo se dovrei piangere

non ti connetti, non messaggi, niente whatsapp eppure

non trovo niente da obiettare

perché sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, è di una tale completezza

e non occorre che tu sia innamorato di me, innamorato di me

Mi hai mollata qui, stai con lei, ma non m’importa, suppongo

che tu sia in un’eccitante luna di miele

Il mio amore è mio, sto bene, uno stato di grazia

non occorre che tu partecipi

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, è di una tale dolcezza

perché mi sento libera di sentire l’infinito, l’infinito

Te ne vai, nemmeno saluti, mio Dio,

mi chiedo, dovrei forse piangere?

non ti connetti, non messaggi, niente whatsapp eppure

non trovo niente da obiettare

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, sono come una sacerdotessa

e non occorre che tu sia innamorato di me, non occorre

Sono innamorata e sono fatti miei, mi sento una principessa

perché sono libera di sentire l’infinito, l’infinito, l’infinito.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? : second part

"-You say things so suddenly, spontaneously, you say things to people that I, Senya, couldn't even read - Alex paused for a moment - or think- he added.

She had a strange expression. It was a mixture of sweet and sad, no, it was of such sweetness that it awakened nostalgia in those who looked at it, like the memory of something lost." (Sara Bini ‘Stories').

Versione italiana al link: E' tutto qui? - seconda parte

I found one of the most beautiful descriptions of this poignant 'feeling of the Stranger' in a text by Hans Jonas on Gnosticism. I report it in its entirety, because I recognize and am moved by it, so I think it could be a beautiful image to reflect on:  

"Stranger is what comes from another place and does not belong here. To those who are from here he/she seems strange, unfamiliar and incomprehensible; but their world is just as incomprehensible to the foreigner who comes to live in their land. He/she therefore suffers the fate of the stranger who is solitary, unprotected, misunderstood and incapable of understanding, in a situation full of dangers. Anguish and nostalgia for the homeland are part of the destiny of the stranger. 

He who does not know the streets of the new country wanders lost; if he learns to know them too well, he forgets that he is a foreigner and gets lost in a different way, succumbing to the attraction of the host world and becoming a stranger to his own origin. This too is part of the foreigner's destiny:  alienating from himself the anguish has disappeared, but this fact is the culmination of his tragedy. The reminiscence of his origin, the recognition of his exile for what he is and the awakening of the desire for his homeland is the beginning of his ‘return'.

All this belongs to the 'suffering' side of extraneousness, because it is incomprehensible to the creatures of this world. However, in this 'diversity' and partly 'superiority' of the stranger, which distinguishes him even down here, albeit secretly, lies the glory of his native kingdom, which is not of this world. In this situation the stranger symbolizes the beyond, the remote, the inaccessible, and his singularity has a kind of majesty. […]

The 'foreign' man and woman tell the drama of light exiled from the Light, of life exiled from Life and involved in the world: the story of its alienation and its discovery, of its descent into the Matter and its ascent towards the Spirit”. (Hans Jonas "The Gnosticism").

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? : first part

"And I said to myself 

Is that all there is ? "

Is that all there is?

If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is.”(Peggy Lee)"

Versione italiana al link: E' tutto qui?- prima parte

I quoted in the opening a piece of Peggy Lee's song "Is That All There Is?" that could be translated with a "Is That All There Is?". I don't know if it ever occurred to you to ask yourself this question, to look around a little bit lost and ask "Is that all there is? Is it possible that life is all about fighting for a job, for a social position, looking for a husband or wife, having children, hoping for retirement, getting old and dying?"

If at least once you have made this reflection, which perhaps even frightened you a little, then welcome to the 'club of strangers' or, as I sometimes jokingly call it, 'the club of estranged people'. I am an honorary member, because it is practically since I have been here that I have been embodying this question, this yearning nostalgia for wider horizons and a freer, more creative and intense life.

I am talking about an existential tension that cannot be resolved in a materialistic and quantitative sense, such as more relationships, more travels, more study, more money, more comfort. No, it is rather a claim to our right to fullness and lasting happiness, a right sanctioned by a spiritual origin, not purely material. The body ages and dies; Life, the Spirit, does not. It is therefore the memory of another homeland, another dimension in which we are creators of harmonious realities and not victims of oppressive circumstances, physical laws, inconclusive governments and natural disasters.

Our situation is somewhat reminiscent of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who from the splendor of the House of the Father finds himself eating the food of pigs. It is therefore the story of our soul, understood as our most intimate being, our spark of light that is lost in the experiences of the world and we forget who it is and where it comes from. 

Thus begins her desperate search for peace and happiness in her boyfriend, family, health, steady work - in short, in a reality that is by nature unstable and illusory. In doing so, she leaps from desire to desire, and often from disappointment to disappointment, forgetting herself and her intrinsic beauty and completeness.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

EVERYDAY ALCHEMY

“This is what the Path consists of: the true transformation of emotions." (Eva Pierrakos)

Versione italiana al link:L'alchimia di ogni giorno

Observing many paths and schools let's say 'spiritual' or of inner evolution, I have observed and experienced on myself (and on others) the tendency to hyperactivity of the mind at the expense of what is actually realized on the level of emotions and behavior.

This is understandable, because the supreme teacher is Life itself, which continually 'initiates' us or would like to ‘initiate' us to a higher awareness through the daily experiences with which it confronts us. However, we do not always receive its messages and go looking for temples, masters, rituals and techniques when at that moment the real guru is our husband who arouses gastritis or our children who arouse anxiety in us.

Normally then, we see a split between what is our daily life and what we think we have achieved on the spiritual path. Perhaps this is facilitated by the fact that we know all the esoteric books on the market by heart or we meditate twenty-five hours a day with the most advanced yogic techniques. 

Fortunately (so to speak) then comes Life to unmask our limits, touching the points where the tooth still hurts, i.e. touching the lead of our consciousness, the raw material still to be refined. And there are also alchemical experiences, those that could support the path of change and reharmonize our lives and our consciences.

Between our intellectual understanding and our acting coherently with it, the shaky bridge of our emotionality lies, so little known and therefore hardly transformed. And that is where our inconsistencies usually manifest themselves, those that give a somewhat schizophrenic character to our lives and sometimes even our physical symptoms.

Transforming lead into gold is precisely this continuous work of focusing the dense and heavy parts of our consciousness and our lives to bring them to less destructive and less pain-producing expressions. To do this work, however, one must deeply perceive that 'evil hurts'... otherwise, if I am still well and comfortable in the shadows, any rational justification is enough to postpone the alchemical work to a date to be defined.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU: a song on broken illusions

“I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” (Oscar Wilde)

Versione italiana al link: Più ti conosco e più ti scanso

Let's face it: it's true that you never stop getting to know a person, but it's also true that sometimes a few dates or a few days are enough to understand that it's not the right air and turn your heels. In such cases, in my opinion very lucky, the illusions are nipped in the bud because at least one of the two potential partners quickly realize that there is not much consistence between the woman or man he/she had imagined and the one or the one in front of him/her. 

It is a flash of intelligence or at least of intellectual honesty, and this is not because we feel Carl Jung or the magician Otelma, capable of reading the innermost folds of the human mind. We are simply in contact with our needs or desires and consequently, we are aware of the inevitable projections we put on the other.  Once we realize this, we give ourselves peace and give peace to the unfortunate or unfortunate one we have met, and eventually we go looking elsewhere.

Some, however, do not give up, convinced that they can "heal" the other with the infallible balm of their love and devotion, which then concretely translates into wanting to shape him/her according to their own personal interests. Such attempts at manipulation range from the most innocent pretending to adhere to the tastes and passions of the other, in order to impress him/her, to the expression of aggressiveness and wisdom in case of rejection. At that point, they rise up to the Gautama Buddha of the life of others, giving advice or unsolicited auspices in order to cure a bit the blow inflicted on their own self-esteem. And it's all right, I have done it and I still do it, I have suffered it and I still suffer it, it is part of the game of human relationships, of their intrinsic imperfection and their infinite potential for learning.

For some time now, I have found a way to make use of this attitude to Sigmund Freud 'of the rest of us' when I feel it emerging in me. I have observed how the advice or the opinion, I so generously give to another, is actually a valuable indication that I myself had better follow. If I am honest and intelligent enough, I notice that every human shortcoming, to some extent, belongs to me or has belonged to me. If it no longer represents me, it is only because I have intentionally worked on it. Likewise, there is no human peak or beauty that cannot belong to me sooner or later. I write ironic and deliberately caricatured songs precisely because I first turn that provocative charge on myself, smiling lightly and compassionately at my own and others' humanity.

Here is the video of English version of the song, then you can find the lyrics and the Italian translation:

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I HADN’T REALIZED  I HAD A BUDDHA ON MY SIDE 

SO MUCH WISDOM FOR FREE, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO MEAN?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, PSYCHOTIC AND OBSESSIVE

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M ESTRANGED AND DERANGED, CYNICAL AND VAIN BUT I

WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL

YHE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE, I SEE YOUVE LED A GREAT LIFE

YOU’VE GOT EXPERIENCE TO SHARE, FROM THE TOP OF YOUR CHAIR

PASSIVE, INACTIVE, DEPENDANT AND SYMBIOTIC

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M BAD AND SO SELFISH, NARCISSIST AND DEVILISH BUT

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE WON’T EVER GET TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE WON’T EVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL…

TRADUZIONE IN ITALIANO:

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E MENO MI PIACI

Non mi ero accorta di avere un buddha al mio fianco

così tanta saggezza, come ho potuto essere così meschina?

Passivo-aggressivo, psicotico e ossessivo

non vorrei essere te

sono estraniata e disturbata, cinica e vanitosa 

ma non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non mi hai capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

Grazie per il consiglio, vedo che hai condito una vita eccezionale

hai esperienza da vendere, dall’alto della tua sedia

Passivo, inattivo, dipendente e simbiotico

non vorrei essere te

sono cattiva ed così egoista, diabolica e narcisista ma

non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ti ho capito proprio per niente

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non ci siamo capiti per niente

non ci siamo capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ci completeremo mai

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non finiremo mai insieme

grazie a Dio, grazie a Dio

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.