“…et inquietum est cor nostrum donec requiescat in Te. - and restless is our heart until it rests in You.”(Saint Augustine)
Versione italiana al link:La nostalgia struggente
This post is dedicated to those who feel a bit alien here, those who "are in the world but know they do not belong in the world." I quote below the words of Michael Brown, one of my Masters. This immense man has developed a technique to integrate one's emotional wounds and return to our true essence, our authenticity. You can find it all on his website:The Presence Process
“….because I also know this world is not my home.
I am a visitor here. I am like a guest in a very elaborate hotel. I am not here to tell the staff how to do their business or to get a fulltime job at the reception desk. Of course, I may moan and groan about the hotel's service - but that is my right as a guest. Not that anyone pays any attention to my gripes. So, being a guest, I am not going to rearrange the furniture in my room more than is required to complement my current required activity. Nor am I going to check out after my stay with the capacity or intent to carry any of the furniture out with me. It belongs to the hotel - and quite frankly - I have no desire to furnish my real home with this hotel furniture! None of what is here belongs to me or is mine to own. I am already enough without it.
However, nor am I going to run from the hotel because I realize it is not my home. Going home is inevitable and unfolds when required. I trust this implicitly. Making it happen is not my business. Do I miss home? Of course. Do I know exactly what it is I am missing? I haven't a cooking clue. Yet, within me there is a signal beacon emanating a melancholic resonance which keeps me from mistakenly identifying with the hotel and the staff as being something permanent. How do I know what I am supposed to do while here? Only the moment reveals what is required, because what is required happens - and so I respond to this in each moment as best as I am able.
It is a very strange, paradoxical, 3D, holographic, full-participation, completely hands-on creation to be immersed in. What a wonderful and simultaneously horrific experience! Many years ago I realized all my efforts to "get out of it", whether via substance use or religious fervor - simply led me further into amazement [what is meant to be a maze] and away from myself. Now, I know in the deepest recesses of my being that the only way out is in - is showing up in this experience as fully as I have the capacity to muster.
Of course, in each moment I fail hopelessly at this intent. But, my failing does not ever nullify the intent. So, yes, I too feel "the longing". But I do not try to satisfy it - I instead celebrate the beautiful agony of it. I allow it to remind me daily to spend some time pointing myself homeward - onward, inward, and upward.”