"If it wasn't for pickpockets, my sex life would be completely non-existent."(Rodney Dangerfield)
“It is true that every experience brings you a gift: thanks to this relationship, I have re-evaluated even my failed marriage.”
Versione italiana al link: Resistenze e ignavia
Does anyone feel just a little bit under pressure? We are in decisive times, Life is pressing the accelerator. I'm speaking for those who have a minimum of awareness, not for those who don't want to see or who imbibe alcohol or Xanax. We were under the illusion that we would have all the time in the world to grow up without too many tears, without suffering, without important and pressing decisions.
But here we are, instead, committing sacred matricide and inner patricide: in order to open up to a meaningful life, we are called upon to symbolically kill 'the father and the mother', that is, the ties of dependence and convenience with what made us feel safe and secure. Sometimes, at the same time, life offers us people or situations that could compensate for the loss of old certainties; it is up to us not to let them slip away.
Unfortunately, in the majority of cases, our 'resistances' win out, by which I mean everything that opposes the new, growth and evolution. The more these psychic obstacles are denied to our inner awareness, the more they manifest themselves in our outer reality. So, if things don't go smoothly, we will blame the bad luck and the evil deities without ever taking responsibility for what we really want.
If, for example, on an unconscious level I refuse a relationship, I'll just happen to get a call at work or my mum will get sick just when I should be visiting my partner. Or I send out two thousand CVs and covering letters but, alas, they want me to work on the very day I have my sacred Pilates class at the gym. In other cases, resistance takes the form of all the 'ifs', 'buts' and 'whens' of common sense and reasonableness: 'if I didn't have a bulimic cat, I'd move to Sweden', 'I'd love to see you, but there's that urgent call in 2035 and I have to get ready', 'when I've finished everything I have to finish, I'll be happy and I'll make my own life'.
It is no time for the lukewarm, for the unsuspecting, for the pusillanimous. This is no time for the grey. Either we become adults now or never. Either we emancipate ourselves now, cutting the psychological umbilical cord, or we will remain shapeless, inadequate, useless to ourselves and to the people around us. Like Dante, we need to go through the Door of Fire, leave the known for the unknown, the old wineskin to make room for new wine. Is it scary? And how. Does it hurt? Deadly. But it is only beyond the Door of Fire that we will find Beatrice - the possibility of True Life, and True Love.