IS THAT ALL THERE IS? : second part

"-You say things so suddenly, spontaneously, you say things to people that I, Senya, couldn't even read - Alex paused for a moment - or think- he added.

She had a strange expression. It was a mixture of sweet and sad, no, it was of such sweetness that it awakened nostalgia in those who looked at it, like the memory of something lost." (Sara Bini ‘Stories').

Versione italiana al link: E' tutto qui? - seconda parte

I found one of the most beautiful descriptions of this poignant 'feeling of the Stranger' in a text by Hans Jonas on Gnosticism. I report it in its entirety, because I recognize and am moved by it, so I think it could be a beautiful image to reflect on:  

"Stranger is what comes from another place and does not belong here. To those who are from here he/she seems strange, unfamiliar and incomprehensible; but their world is just as incomprehensible to the foreigner who comes to live in their land. He/she therefore suffers the fate of the stranger who is solitary, unprotected, misunderstood and incapable of understanding, in a situation full of dangers. Anguish and nostalgia for the homeland are part of the destiny of the stranger. 

He who does not know the streets of the new country wanders lost; if he learns to know them too well, he forgets that he is a foreigner and gets lost in a different way, succumbing to the attraction of the host world and becoming a stranger to his own origin. This too is part of the foreigner's destiny:  alienating from himself the anguish has disappeared, but this fact is the culmination of his tragedy. The reminiscence of his origin, the recognition of his exile for what he is and the awakening of the desire for his homeland is the beginning of his ‘return'.

All this belongs to the 'suffering' side of extraneousness, because it is incomprehensible to the creatures of this world. However, in this 'diversity' and partly 'superiority' of the stranger, which distinguishes him even down here, albeit secretly, lies the glory of his native kingdom, which is not of this world. In this situation the stranger symbolizes the beyond, the remote, the inaccessible, and his singularity has a kind of majesty. […]

The 'foreign' man and woman tell the drama of light exiled from the Light, of life exiled from Life and involved in the world: the story of its alienation and its discovery, of its descent into the Matter and its ascent towards the Spirit”. (Hans Jonas "The Gnosticism").

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? : first part

"And I said to myself 

Is that all there is ? "

Is that all there is?

If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze and have a ball

If that's all there is.”(Peggy Lee)"

Versione italiana al link: E' tutto qui?- prima parte

I quoted in the opening a piece of Peggy Lee's song "Is That All There Is?" that could be translated with a "Is That All There Is?". I don't know if it ever occurred to you to ask yourself this question, to look around a little bit lost and ask "Is that all there is? Is it possible that life is all about fighting for a job, for a social position, looking for a husband or wife, having children, hoping for retirement, getting old and dying?"

If at least once you have made this reflection, which perhaps even frightened you a little, then welcome to the 'club of strangers' or, as I sometimes jokingly call it, 'the club of estranged people'. I am an honorary member, because it is practically since I have been here that I have been embodying this question, this yearning nostalgia for wider horizons and a freer, more creative and intense life.

I am talking about an existential tension that cannot be resolved in a materialistic and quantitative sense, such as more relationships, more travels, more study, more money, more comfort. No, it is rather a claim to our right to fullness and lasting happiness, a right sanctioned by a spiritual origin, not purely material. The body ages and dies; Life, the Spirit, does not. It is therefore the memory of another homeland, another dimension in which we are creators of harmonious realities and not victims of oppressive circumstances, physical laws, inconclusive governments and natural disasters.

Our situation is somewhat reminiscent of the Parable of the Prodigal Son, who from the splendor of the House of the Father finds himself eating the food of pigs. It is therefore the story of our soul, understood as our most intimate being, our spark of light that is lost in the experiences of the world and we forget who it is and where it comes from. 

Thus begins her desperate search for peace and happiness in her boyfriend, family, health, steady work - in short, in a reality that is by nature unstable and illusory. In doing so, she leaps from desire to desire, and often from disappointment to disappointment, forgetting herself and her intrinsic beauty and completeness.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

EVERYDAY ALCHEMY

“This is what the Path consists of: the true transformation of emotions." (Eva Pierrakos)

Versione italiana al link:L'alchimia di ogni giorno

Observing many paths and schools let's say 'spiritual' or of inner evolution, I have observed and experienced on myself (and on others) the tendency to hyperactivity of the mind at the expense of what is actually realized on the level of emotions and behavior.

This is understandable, because the supreme teacher is Life itself, which continually 'initiates' us or would like to ‘initiate' us to a higher awareness through the daily experiences with which it confronts us. However, we do not always receive its messages and go looking for temples, masters, rituals and techniques when at that moment the real guru is our husband who arouses gastritis or our children who arouse anxiety in us.

Normally then, we see a split between what is our daily life and what we think we have achieved on the spiritual path. Perhaps this is facilitated by the fact that we know all the esoteric books on the market by heart or we meditate twenty-five hours a day with the most advanced yogic techniques. 

Fortunately (so to speak) then comes Life to unmask our limits, touching the points where the tooth still hurts, i.e. touching the lead of our consciousness, the raw material still to be refined. And there are also alchemical experiences, those that could support the path of change and reharmonize our lives and our consciences.

Between our intellectual understanding and our acting coherently with it, the shaky bridge of our emotionality lies, so little known and therefore hardly transformed. And that is where our inconsistencies usually manifest themselves, those that give a somewhat schizophrenic character to our lives and sometimes even our physical symptoms.

Transforming lead into gold is precisely this continuous work of focusing the dense and heavy parts of our consciousness and our lives to bring them to less destructive and less pain-producing expressions. To do this work, however, one must deeply perceive that 'evil hurts'... otherwise, if I am still well and comfortable in the shadows, any rational justification is enough to postpone the alchemical work to a date to be defined.

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU: a song on broken illusions

“I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.” (Oscar Wilde)

Versione italiana al link: Più ti conosco e più ti scanso

Let's face it: it's true that you never stop getting to know a person, but it's also true that sometimes a few dates or a few days are enough to understand that it's not the right air and turn your heels. In such cases, in my opinion very lucky, the illusions are nipped in the bud because at least one of the two potential partners quickly realize that there is not much consistence between the woman or man he/she had imagined and the one or the one in front of him/her. 

It is a flash of intelligence or at least of intellectual honesty, and this is not because we feel Carl Jung or the magician Otelma, capable of reading the innermost folds of the human mind. We are simply in contact with our needs or desires and consequently, we are aware of the inevitable projections we put on the other.  Once we realize this, we give ourselves peace and give peace to the unfortunate or unfortunate one we have met, and eventually we go looking elsewhere.

Some, however, do not give up, convinced that they can "heal" the other with the infallible balm of their love and devotion, which then concretely translates into wanting to shape him/her according to their own personal interests. Such attempts at manipulation range from the most innocent pretending to adhere to the tastes and passions of the other, in order to impress him/her, to the expression of aggressiveness and wisdom in case of rejection. At that point, they rise up to the Gautama Buddha of the life of others, giving advice or unsolicited auspices in order to cure a bit the blow inflicted on their own self-esteem. And it's all right, I have done it and I still do it, I have suffered it and I still suffer it, it is part of the game of human relationships, of their intrinsic imperfection and their infinite potential for learning.

For some time now, I have found a way to make use of this attitude to Sigmund Freud 'of the rest of us' when I feel it emerging in me. I have observed how the advice or the opinion, I so generously give to another, is actually a valuable indication that I myself had better follow. If I am honest and intelligent enough, I notice that every human shortcoming, to some extent, belongs to me or has belonged to me. If it no longer represents me, it is only because I have intentionally worked on it. Likewise, there is no human peak or beauty that cannot belong to me sooner or later. I write ironic and deliberately caricatured songs precisely because I first turn that provocative charge on myself, smiling lightly and compassionately at my own and others' humanity.

Here is the video of English version of the song, then you can find the lyrics and the Italian translation:

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I HADN’T REALIZED  I HAD A BUDDHA ON MY SIDE 

SO MUCH WISDOM FOR FREE, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO MEAN?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, PSYCHOTIC AND OBSESSIVE

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M ESTRANGED AND DERANGED, CYNICAL AND VAIN BUT I

WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL

YHE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE, I SEE YOUVE LED A GREAT LIFE

YOU’VE GOT EXPERIENCE TO SHARE, FROM THE TOP OF YOUR CHAIR

PASSIVE, INACTIVE, DEPENDANT AND SYMBIOTIC

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M BAD AND SO SELFISH, NARCISSIST AND DEVILISH BUT

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE WON’T EVER GET TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE WON’T EVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL…

TRADUZIONE IN ITALIANO:

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E MENO MI PIACI

Non mi ero accorta di avere un buddha al mio fianco

così tanta saggezza, come ho potuto essere così meschina?

Passivo-aggressivo, psicotico e ossessivo

non vorrei essere te

sono estraniata e disturbata, cinica e vanitosa 

ma non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non mi hai capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

Grazie per il consiglio, vedo che hai condito una vita eccezionale

hai esperienza da vendere, dall’alto della tua sedia

Passivo, inattivo, dipendente e simbiotico

non vorrei essere te

sono cattiva ed così egoista, diabolica e narcisista ma

non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ti ho capito proprio per niente

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non ci siamo capiti per niente

non ci siamo capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ci completeremo mai

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non finiremo mai insieme

grazie a Dio, grazie a Dio

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E PIÙ TI SCANSO: la canzone sulla caduta delle illusioni

“A volte ho l'impressione che Dio, nel creare l'uomo, abbia in qualche modo sopravvalutato le sue capacità.” (Oscar Wilde)

English version at the link: The more I know you the less I like you

Diciamocelo: è vero che non si finisce mai di conoscere una persona, ma è altrettanto vero che, a volte, bastano poche uscite o pochi giorni per capire che non è aria e girare i tacchi. In tali casi, a mio avviso molto fortunati, le illusioni si stroncano sul nascere poiché almeno uno dei due potenziali partner realizza velocemente che non c’è molta concordanza tra la donna o l’uomo che si era immaginato/a e quello o quella che invece si trova davanti. E’ un lampo d’intelligenza o perlomeno di onestà intellettuale, e questo non perché ci sentiamo Carl Jung o il mago Otelma, capaci di leggere le pieghe più recondite della mente umana. Semplicemente siamo in contatto con i nostri bisogni o desideri e, di conseguenza, siamo consapevoli delle inevitabili proiezioni che facciamo sull’altro.  Una volta realizzato ciò, ci diamo pace e diamo pace allo sventurato o sventurata che abbiamo incontrato, eventualmente andando a cercare altrove.

Alcuni tuttavia non si danno per vinti, convinti di poter “guarire” l’altro con la medicina infallibile del loro amore e della loro devozione, che poi concretamente si traduce nel volerlo modellare secondo i propri tornaconti personali. Tali tentativi di manipolazione vanno dall'innocente fingere di aderire ai gusti e alle passioni dell’altro per impressionarlo, fino all’espressione di aggressività e saccenza in caso di rifiuto. A quel punto costoro si ergono a Gautama Buddha della vita altrui, elargendo consigli o auspici, peraltro non richiesti, pur di curare il colpo inferto alla propria autostima. E va bene così, io l’ho fatto e lo faccio, l’ho subito e lo subisco, fa parte del gioco delle relazioni umane, della loro intrinseca imperfezione e delle loro infinite potenzialità di apprendimento.

Da un po’ di tempo a questa parte, ho trovato il modo di mettere a frutto tale atteggiamento a Sigmund Freud ‘di noialtri’ quando lo sento emergere in me. Ho osservato come il consiglio o l’opinione, così generosamente dispensata a un altro, in genere sia un'indicazione preziosa che io stessa farei bene a seguire. Se sono abbastanza onesta e intelligente, appunto, noto che ogni umana manchevolezza, in una qualche misura, mi appartiene o mi è appartenuta. Se non mi rappresenta più, è solo perché ci ho intenzionalmente lavorato sopra. Allo stesso modo, non c’è umana vetta o bellezza che non possa prima o poi appartenermi, volendo.

Scrivo canzoni ironiche ed esplicitamente caricaturali proprio perché in primo luogo rivolgo tale carica provocatoria verso me stessa, sorridendo alla mia e all’altrui umanità compassionevolmente e ‘scanzonatamente’.

Qui sotto, il video della versione italiana della canzone e il testo. Di seguito ho messo anche  la versione inglese con testo e traduzione. Per ragioni di metrica, la traduzione dall’inglese e la versione italiana non possono coincidere…ma la sostanza è la stessa!

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E PIÙ TI SCANSO

NON MI ERO ACCORTA DI AVER UN BUDDHA ALLA PORTA

SAGGEZZA A GOGÒ, COME HO POTUTO DIR NO?

PASSIVO-AGGRESSIVO, INUTILE OSSESSIVO

NON VORREI ESSERE TE

FREDDA, ALIENATA, CINICA E VANESIA MA

NON VORREI ESSERE TE

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E PIÙ TI SCANSO

MI PIACI SEMPRE MENO, MI SA

PIÙ TI CONOSCO, PIÙ ME NE INFISCHIO

HO PERSO PROPRIO POCO, EH GIÀ

EH GIÀ, CHISSÀ

HO PERSO PROPRIO POCO MI SA, MA VA’, MA VA’

GRAZIE PER IL DISPREZZO CHE RICAMBIO CON GUSTO

LA  LUNGA ESPERIENZA DI UNA VITA D’IMPOTENZA 

PASSIVO, INATTIVO, PSICOTICO IN ARRIVO

NON VORREI ESSERE TE

CATTIVA, AGGRESSIVA, SARCASTICA E AMBIGUA MA

NON VORREI ESSERE TE

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E PIÙ TI SCANSO

È STATO PROPRIO MEGLIO COSÌ

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E ME NE INFISCHIO

FACEVI MEGLIO A CHIUDERE LÌ, LÌ, COSÌ

FACEVI MEGLIO A CHIUDERE LÌ, COSÌ , SÌ, SÌ

PIÙ TI CONOSCO, PIÙ TI SCANSO

FACEVI MEGLIO A CHIUDERE LÌ

PIÙ TI CONOSCO, PIÙ INORRIDISCO

INVECE DI RIBATTERE E POI 

POVERI NOI

INVECE DI CONVINCERMI CHE

HO BISOGNO DI TE,

INVECE DI RIPRENDERE E POI, POVERI NOI

VERSIONE INGLESE:

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I HADN’T REALIZED  I HAD A BUDDHA ON MY SIDE 

SO MUCH WISDOM FOR FREE, HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO MEAN?

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE, PSYCHOTIC AND OBSESSIVE

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M ESTRANGED AND DERANGED, CYNICAL AND VAIN BUT I

WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL

YHE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN AT ALL

THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE, I SEE YOUVE LED A GREAT LIFE

YOU’VE GOT EXPERIENCE TO SHARE, FROM THE TOP OF YOUR CHAIR

PASSIVE, INACTIVE, DEPENDANT AND SYMBIOTIC

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

I’M BAD AND SO SELFISH, NARCISSIST AND DEVILISH BUT

I WOULD NEVER BE YOU

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

WE DIDN’T GET EACH OTHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE LESS I LIKE YOU

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THE MORE I KNOW YOU THE MORE I IGNORE YOU

WE WON’T EVER GET TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE WON’T EVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

WE’LL NEVER FIT TOGETHER AT ALL…

TRADUZIONE IN ITALIANO:

PIÙ TI CONOSCO E MENO MI PIACI

Non mi ero accorta di avere un buddha al mio fianco

così tanta saggezza, come ho potuto essere così meschina?

Passivo-aggressivo, psicotico e ossessivo

non vorrei essere te

sono estraniata e disturbata, cinica e vanitosa 

ma non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non mi hai capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

nemmeno mi hai ascoltato per niente

Grazie per il consiglio, vedo che hai condito una vita eccezionale

hai esperienza da vendere, dall’alto della tua sedia

Passivo, inattivo, dipendente e simbiotico

non vorrei essere te

sono cattiva ed così egoista, diabolica e narcisista ma

non vorrei essere te

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ti ho capito proprio per niente

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non ci siamo capiti per niente

non ci siamo capito per niente

Più ti conosco e meno mi piaci

non ci completeremo mai

più ti conosco e più ti ignoro

non finiremo mai insieme

grazie a Dio, grazie a Dio

non c’incastreremo mai

grazie Dio, grazie a Dio

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.

BAD IN BED: my new song

"...so marriage was for me the only way to finally renounce men, my husband first of all.”(Sara Bini)

Versione italiana al link: Pessima a letto

This song is ironic about some of the stereotypes related to women in patriarchal culture. The perfect woman is good in bed and in the kitchen, or at least she has to be able to pretend to be.  Also, while the human male seems to be able to afford a big belly, a Yoghi bear-like hair and love-handles, the female of the same species must always be shaved, perfumed, well-groomed and super-accessorized. All these things are not heavy or binding when they are done also for personal pleasure, but they become money-eating and time-eating chains when one has to please a hypothetical ‘he’ or the beauty canons of society. 

The song therefore celebrates an atypical woman, in whom I obviously recognize myself a lot and that I have struggled to accept, being very much in contrast with what both women and men in my life expected from me. In fact, it was my experiences with my partners or my friends that helped me to bring out, among thousands attempts and horrors, what I now recognize as my individuality. Peace to the soul of those who wanted me - and want me or believe me - different.

When a real process of self-affection begins, I would almost dare to say a 'healthy falling in love' with oneself, it is the beginning of the most beautiful love story you can imagine. Try to believe.  It is also the right starting point for a healthy love for the other: less invasive, less vampire-like and less judgmental. First of all, you need to have the courage to know yourself, even in all your essential human shortcomings and imperfections; then you need to be able to embrace them, while embracing those of everyone else. This obviously does not mean that you have to go and eat pizza with everyone or that you have to listen to complaints from morning to night for the love of your neighbour.

When you love yourself, you start living a life of peace, especially internally: you create your own ethical rules in line with the principle of harmlessness and you create your own lines of action, according to your authentic desires and needs. You could almost live in a kind of paradise, if you weren’t constantly confronted with a planet practicing values opposite to yours or where many people try to fill their internal voids at the expense of others.

However, at that point, you are also able to live serenely alone, to get refreshed and oxygenated before putting yourself back into the crazy babel of today's society. And then who knows, as if by some miracle, you might even meet the gaze of another seeker, another restless soul thirsty for the Infinite and for freedom like you... and the path becomes less solitary.

Here is the video of English version of the song, then you can find the lyrics and the Italian translation:

BAD IN BED

I’M BAD IN BED AND IN EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE ROOM

I DON’T LIKE SEX, AND I DON’T COOK , DON’T WANNA COOK

BUT IN MY STUDIO I’M THE BEST

I’M SO PERFECT AT MY DESK, VERY INTERESTED

I’M BIG-BRAINED AND SMALL-BREASTED

I CAN SING, WRITE AND DRAW, I GOT IDEaS OF MY OWN AND ROCK’N’ ROLL

I GOT ROCK’N’ROLL, YOU CAN GET IT ALL

I’M BAD IN BED….

I’M BAD IN BED….

I’M UNTALENTED EVERYWHERE, IN THE KITCHEN, IN THE GARDEN

I HATE MASSAGES AND BODY OILS AND CUTE FRENCH NAILS

BUT IN MY STUDIO I’M THE BEST, I’M WELL-DRESSED AND FULLY EXPRESSED, I’M MYSELF

I WONDER WHY, YOU’RE SO OBSESSED

I’M THE WORST WOMAN YOU CAN MEET, IF YOU INSIST YOU’RE MASOCHIST, JUST LISTEN THIS

CAN’T YOU LISTEN THIS, IT’S MY GOODBYE KISS

I’M BAD IN BED….

I’M BAD IN BED….

TRADUZIONE:

Pessima a letto

Sono pessima a letto e in ogni altra stanza possibile

non mi piace il sesso e non cucino, non ho voglia di cucinare

ma nel mio studio sono la migliore, così perfetta alla mia scrivania, molto interessata

ho il cervello grosso e il seno piccolo

posso cantare, scrivere e disegnare, ho idee mie e rock’n’roll, ho il rock’n’roll, puoi averlo tutto

sono pessima a letto

sono pessima a letto

Non ho talento da nessuna parte, in cucina, in giardino

odio i massaggi e gli oli per il corpo e il French alle unghie

Ma nel mio studio sono la migliore, sono ben vestita e mi esprimo pienamente, sono me stessa

mi chiedo come mai tu sia così ossessionato

sono la peggiore donna che puoi incontrare 

se insisti sei un masochista, ascolta questo

non riesci ad ascoltare questo? È il mio bacio di addio

Per prenotare  un colloquio  di Counseling contattatemi attraverso il mio sito  Le Vie per l'Armonia.